I was able to officiate at a wedding last weekend.  It was a beautiful ceremony on the beach of Lake Michigan.  The charge they asked me to use was from the Christian Wedding Planner by Ruth Muzzy and R. Kent Hughes – a book I highly recommend.  The charge contained many things we may seldom consider in our day.  For those of you who are married, I thought it might be helpful to reflect on these words which I slightly modified for last weekend’s wedding:

Today you are presenting yourselves before this congregation to declare your intention of uniting your lives voluntarily and honorably for the service of God and man.  You are making a double dedication:

• To each other, in a lasting and indivisible union that shall endure for the remaining years of your lives;
• And to God, that he may make you his dual instrument for the accomplishment of his purpose both in and by your personalities. 

The achievement of this purpose will require

• Appreciation of each other’s abilities and virtues,
• Forgiveness of each other’s faults, and
• Unfailing devotion to each other’s welfare and development. 

There must be on your part a united consent to the purpose of God as he progressively reveals it to you by his Word and by his Spirit, and an unhesitant acceptance by faith of the challenges that he sets before you.

I charge you, therefore, first of all, to consider that your promises to each other are made in the presence of a God who remembers your pledges and who holds you responsible for performing them.  They must be kept inviolable before Him.

I admonish you to keep in mind that each of you is the object of Christ’s redemption and should be valued accordingly.  Neither should be neglected or belittled by the other.  Esteem each other as God’s gift for mutual aid, comfort, and joy, and as a repository of complete confidence and trust.

I encourage you to share willingly and sympathetically your joys and worries, your successes and your struggles, and to be neither conceited by the former nor depressed by the latter.  Whichever may prevail, cling closely to each other, that defeats may be met by a united strength and victories by a united joy.

I charge you to make your home a place where you will have a refuge from the storms of life not only for yourselves but also for all who enter your home.  Let it be a haven for the weary, a source of uplift for the discouraged, and a convincing testimony to a cynical world.

In short, recognize the Lord Jesus Christ as the head of your house, the ruler of your destinies, and the object of your deepest affection.  If you do, he will confirm your marriage by his guidance and will overshadow it with his peace.  I charge you to love each other, to support each other, and to serve him with sincere hearts and determined wills until your mutual service for him shall be completed.

May God help our marriages look more and more like this, that they might be authentic reflections of Christ and his church.