Here are some helpful posts for singles:
Will I Be Single Forever? – Stephen Witmer (DG)
5 Tips for Maximizing Your Singleness – Marshall Segal (Crossway)
What Is the Gift of Singleness? – Tim Challies
Tag: Singleness
Passion Points – Single Life
In keeping with our theme this week, here are some good articles about the single life:
Tim Keller reminds us that singleness is a good Biblical option in a world that either trivializes or idolizes family.
Brooks Waldron considers the meaning of singleness.
Finally, Dave Egner has a booklet in pdf format you can read online that explodes myths, considers Scriptures, and addresses issues related to the single life. Highly recommended for singles and indeed anyone in the church.
Next week, we’ll continue looking at the single life as we consider benefits, as well as the right focus.
It Is Good To Be Single
It is good to be single.
As Barry Danylak explores in his book, Redeeming Singleness, people in the Old Testament had to marry to have physical offspring. Offspring was necessary for the coming Messiah, and was closely linked to blessings. But now the Messiah has come, and our blessings are found in him. Marriage is no longer necessary. We have the option to remain single, and it is a good option.
Paul writes in I Corinthians 7:8 – “To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am.” It is good to remain single like Paul. Jesus too, the only perfect human being, was single. It is good to be single.
Of course it is also good to marry. Paul writes in verses 27-28 – “Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be free. Are you free from a wife? Do not seek a wife. But if you do marry, you have not sinned, and if a betrothed woman marries, she has not sinned.” It is okay to be married. It is okay to be single. Both are good options.
We all need to hear this, for the following reasons:
- It is common, especially for young singles, to hear on a regular basis certain questions and comments, such as: “Have you met someone yet?” “You mean you’re not married yet! What are you waiting for?” With numerous variations well-meaning married folks assume single people have to marry, and load essentially unbiblical expectations on them. Instead married folks should affirm the single person’s current situation as good. If the single person marries that will be good too, but in the meantime, it is good to be single.
- It is entirely possible (and maybe common?) for churches to treat single people as second class citizens. Rather than incorporate them into the life of the church, we can relegate them to a singles ministry. Now there is nothing wrong with singles getting together, but they need to be incorporated into the rest of the church. There are more important things in the Kingdom than marital status. Beyond church interactions, is the basic attitude that one can find towards singles. The idea seems to be that singles need to grow up and get married. In other words, single people by definition are immature. Especially younger singles may be immature, but getting married hardly makes one suddenly mature. It is good to be single. It is good to be married. There are no second class citizens in God’s Kingdom. Let’s make sure we treat each other that way.
- Singles need to hear that it is good to be single. Beyond unbiblical church expectations and attitudes, there is the reality of our culture. Movies, TV, even commercials often suggest that you should have that special someone, though getting married has become a secondary issue. The classic movie plot remains boy meets girl and they fall in love. Music is all about romantic love. Sex is apparently what life is about. And in the noise of our culture, single folks need to hear again and again – it is good to be single. There is much more to life than romance and sex. You are a whole person without a spouse. Jesus was single. It is good to be single.
It is good to be single. Yes, there are some challenges (married folks have challenges too), but there are also some benefits. We will look at these in upcoming posts….
Book Look: Redeeming Singleness
Redeeming Singleness – Barry Danylak
Redeeming Singleness by Barry Danylak is not your usual book on singleness. It is not about dating, nor is it even focused on bringing out principles for living the single life. Rather it offers a tour through the Bible’s teaching on singleness.
Starting in Genesis, he shows how physical offspring, and hence marriage, were of highest importance in the Old Testament. Physical offspring was a mark of God’s blessing, and necessary to preserve one’s inheritance and name. Through physical offspring would come the Messiah. You did not want to be single in the Old Testament.
But everything changes in Jesus. The Messiah has come. Our eternal inheritance and name are found in Jesus. The mark of blessing is not having offspring, but being adopted as God’s offspring. And the focus has moved from physical offspring to spiritual offspring. Now, it is okay to be single. Indeed, following Jesus and Paul, it is good to be single.
These are the strands Danylak traces through the pages of Scripture. He closes by exploring Paul’s sustained discussion of singleness in I Corinthians 6-7, and what that means for singles today.
By connecting the dots of the Scripture’s teachings on singleness, new insights are gained. Many books simply re-clothe familiar truths, but I found myself actually learning again and again. I used his biblical study as the basis of a two week sermon series, and saw the same learning going on in the eyes of the congregation. His study has become foundational in my thinking on singleness, and will influence directly and indirectly my future posts this week on singleness based on those sermons. Highly recommended for pastors, any who minister to single adults, and anyone who is single.
Brian J. Mikul 