The following is an excellent post from Collin Hansen addressing the reality of failure and its necessary applications in parenting and discipleship. If you are a parent, you need to read this. If you are a teen/young adult, you should read this. Okay, you should just read and ponder this post no matter who you are:
Your kids will fail. This is both inevitable and also necessary. Apparently not many parents today want to hear this uncomfortable fact. And they certainly don’t want to implement it in how they discipline their children. Writing the cover story for The Atlantic’s July/August issue, therapist Lori Gottlieb alerts us that the cult of self-esteem is ruining our kids. Convinced they are the center of the universe and capable of anything, our children have become insufferable narcissists. Then, when these kids grow up and fail, as they must, they head for the nearest therapist, worried their lives have gone horribly wrong. Gottlieb writes:
[R]ates of anxiety and depression have also risen in tandem with self-esteem. Why is this? “Narcissists are happy when they’re younger, because they’re the center of the universe,” [psychology professor Jean] Twenge explains. “Their parents act like their servants, shuttling them to any activity they choose and catering to their every desire. Parents are constantly telling their children how special and talented they are. This gives them an inflated view of their specialness compared to other human beings. Instead of feeling good about themselves, they feel better than everyone else.”
As you might expect, this attitude wreaks havoc in the real world of adulthood. Try giving one of these college students a B, let alone a C. You better be prepared for a visit from the student and maybe even a phone call from a parent. Or try telling young adults in their first job that their work doesn’t cut it. You just might be looking for a new employee when the offended party looks for a workplace where his creativity and brilliance will be “appreciated.”
Brian J. Mikul 